The Cold (1984)

Dir: Bill Rebane

Prod: Barbara Rebane

Scr: William Arthur, Larry Dreyfus

Cast: Tom Blair, Jim Iaquinta, Carol Perry

Although this film is better known as The Game, Mill Creek distributes it as The Cold. This isn't an entirely inaccurate title: in fact, it nicely sums up director Bill Rebane's filmography, involving scenarios in wintry Wisconsin settings. Ironically, the film with a title that represents most of Rebane's work is a change of pace from his usual milieu, and is nothing if not a mixed-bag of tone and style.

This funhouse of incident, perhaps done in the spirit of William Castle’s films 13 Frightened Girls or Let’s Kill Uncle, has a comic-thriller plot that could be called Hitchcockian, but one hesitates to use that term, so as to avoid any misconceptions that I’m attempting to equate this film to a work by The Master of Suspense. Rebane is no Hitchcock... but on the other hand, Hitchcock is no Rebane.

The premise is a labyrinth of double-crosses and put-ons, as three bored millionaires, George, Horace and Maude (Carol Perry, who played Mrs. Schultz in The Demons of Ludlow, back for another haughty character), stage their annual game of giving people chances to win a million dollars in cash if they conquer their fears. The nine contestants are put up in an abandoned hotel, and meet such obstacles as rats, spiders... and even the elements, as two people nearly freeze to death in a sauna (no doubt inspiring the alternate title, The Cold).

The characters who rise to the challenge of the game are truly an oddball lot: a blonde preppy guy; a female law student; four members of a rock band; a so-called stud with the stereotypical moustache; and a southern belle with a ridiculous accent and her friend. Now, imagine the scenes in 70’s porn where everyone has their clothes on, and you get an idea of the level of histrionics in this bunch (or so I'm told).

Imagine further the ridiculous dollar store props that are used to scare these people: from the slimy monster that pops out of a mattress, to the plastic shark fin in the pool. This skimpy art direction rather befits the whole cartoonish nature of the film. The berserk mixture of tone and shooting styles (right down to the millionaires prancing down hotel corridors in Halloween masks while tinny silent movie piano music plays), the one-dimensional characters and silly special effects all seem to work together: this seems to be a movie where everyone involved surrendered themselves to the reality that this is a cheap piece of nonsense.

It is difficult to tell if Rebane ignored the William Arthur-Larry Dreyfus screenplay and just decided to “wing it”, or that the script was so inept to begin with, that with each new scene where someone else turns the tables, the movie becomes increasingly incomprehensible, right up to the “huh?” of a climax with a ghoulish something or other looking out the window. Red herrings like a hunchbacked figure in white makeup lurking around remain unexplained, further adding to the haywire “plot”. But in truth, I liked this damn thing.

As the film progresses, the viewer receives as much of a put-on as the characters onscreen, and must surrender oneself to the game, or be left cold. Even so, there is some morsel of attempt at making this glorious mess look like something. The setting of an abandoned hotel is genuinely creepy (perhaps another theme of isolation that attracted Rebane to the project?). The millionaires’ control over even the hotel’s PA system and the television broadcasts (in one moment, we see one of the hapless characters being hanged right after the late night TV sign-off) is a novel gimmick reminiscent of Fritz Lang’s The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse. And despite that the previous ninety minutes are silly, the ending of the lone figure on the bridge at night is rather haunting. Whatever his shortcomings, Bill Rebane still knows how to set a mood, despite if the tone is still disappointingly less adult than it should be. If there is one film in his career that can be classified as a “romp”, this is it.

MMM Rating: 3/5

Located on: Chilling Classics. (No pun intended.)

The Demons of Ludlow (1983)

Dir-Prod: Bill Rebane

Scr: William Arthur

Cast: Paul Bentzen (credited as Paul von Hausen), Stephanie Cushna,  Carol Perry

This tale of resurrection and revenge is set once again in familiar Bill Rebane territory: a snowy, godforsaken small town in Wisconsin where its eccentric characters battle a monster. The novelty is that the monster comes in the form of a piano!

On the bicentennial of the hamlet of Ludlow (population, 47), a harmonium is presented as a gift to inaugurate the celebration. However, Ludlow native and ambitious young reporter Debra (played by Stephanie Cushna, who is quite good in her only starring role), recognizes that the harmonium comes from a sordid period in the town’s history. This borough got its namesake from a pilgrim named Ludlow who was maimed and killed: his spirit is now planning revenge upon the descendants of his persecutors.

The Demons of Ludlow owes a lot of its inspiration to John Carpenter’s The Fog, with the bicentennial revenge plot, and even a similar character of a preacher who knows that he must pay for the sins of his ancestors. To be certain, it never achieves the level of suspense or atmosphere of Carpenter’s classic. However, it is memorable for its isolated snowy setting (like many of Rebane’s films), and unusual take on the ghostly revenge formula. Instead of pirates from beyond the grave, this scenario offers... well, scenes of pilgrim ghosts dancing in the town hall at night!

Bill Rebane seems to have changed his approach from the typically glacial pacing where the rural characters blend into the bluish snowy backgrounds. The film has more panache with its rapid editing, and attention to unusual sound design, but still, despite the (admittedly minor) scenes of gore, and the unusual ways in which people get killed, the film seems more odd than creepy, which is perhaps the price it pays for attempting something different.

Despite that it is written by one William Arthur (his first of four screenplays for the director), it still has a distinctive Bill Rebane feel, with his economical storytelling (a simple voiceover over some exterior shots explains away a lot of the subplot), and in its slyly funny pokes at small town life (I love how the residents who attend the bicentennial harmonium recital all appear like they’ve been dragged there, and make no effort to disguise their boredom). With its tinny music and cartoon-like performances, once again this movie feels childlike, despite the adult material. Still, I like that for once these small townsfolk aren’t the stereotypical country bumpkins: despite the “down home” middle American demeanour, we are presented with a truly dysfunctional stock of characters (it’s no wonder the town is founded upon bloodshed). The reverend’s wife Sybil is a boozer (and a hottie); Mrs. Schultz the harmonium player has a mentally handicapped daughter Emily who talks to dolls (in one interesting scene, a tear falls down the doll’s porcelain cheek).

The film is also memorable for its low-key special effects, such as the fire poker that attempts to hit the

preacher by itself, and in the neat climax, where after running from house to house for help (only to encounter a ghoul at each front door), Debbie runs down the road and encounters a force field, as electrical bolts emit from her hands when she tries to breach it. (Once more the classic Rebane theme of isolation from the rest of the world takes form.)

The Demons of Ludlow is not a lost classic, but it is certainly better than its unfairly bad reputation. It gets points for attempting to be different from the usual fare that was offered in horror cinema of the time. While many films of the period had an open ending for a sequel to follow, the ambiguous finale of this one is actually troubling: did good win over evil?

MMM Rating: 3/5

Located on: Chilling Classics.